The day I received this music I felt dark and wanted to play it in a small closet—to listen to it underwater. I felt my body respond from the inside out with a sense of melancholy and being trapped. I felt a sense of loss. My thoughts and images were of water, canoe, morning, tight spaces, memory, past & present. The music, to me, was about how water can create a trap for you or give you freedom depending on how you chose to look at it.
The props I chose: ocean- not being heard or seen but feeling as if one is drowning but also a place if one chooses to float and escape the sounds from above. the shower being another representation of that but also the desire to wash oneself of something. the slip- for the felinity, sensuality, motherhood and frailty of it all. I love the look of the dress when it is wet. it signifies to me something of someone who has lost a sense of normalcy as she gets in the shower with her clothes on. Preoccupied with something greater than the present moment.
The window represents time a look into a room that goes on forever. Also it is usually a window that we look through to see the water when we are underwater but in this case the window was where the water was being held offering a different perspective.
I chose all these props because it aligned in my mind with the story that was being told. At times I am not even sure of the story I’m telling until after the fact. I believe now watching this after it was created I can see myself seeking something beyond my control, experiencing loss, the loss of time, motherhood, space, understanding, and control. Seeing myself in a new way seeing a reflection of someone I was or will become.