This boat was partly filled with water. It was ½ submerged and sinking when I saw it from the shore but there was something compelling about it so I waded out to see what it looked like from a different angle and when I got to the other side of the boat, where I couldn’t see the part of it that was drowning, it looked pretty spectacular and amazing. I mean it’s this half sunken rowboat from behind but from this perspective it really looks like a ship… so proud. The boat really has a personality. It’s bigger than life.

I’m not sure why, but the photo struck me immediately as having to do with function and abandonment. I’m not sure I even fully absorbed the full image before my mind was on faded glory. The narrative was about this boat carrying out its duty day in and day out. Suddenly, one day it realizes that it’s been forgotten and that it has been alone for some time. The boat, so busy being a boat, had overlooked it’s own abandonment. So with this cold, hard reality the boat comes to grips with its no longer being sought after or loved as it once was. I couldn’t help but sympathize. Clearly this weathered boat that has seen better days, but from this angle its bow seems to be a statement of pride and power. I started playing arpeggios of the first two chords while I fumbled with melody lines and almost instantly sang ” I can remember I used walk with my chest out and my shoulders back….”

Thematically the song spoke of a mixture of longing, wistfulness, acceptance and remembrance of loves past. A lot ofmy pre-marital life was spent in wistful contemplation… attached to some love that didn’t work out, or the way life should have been. The song eminded me of my premarital longing and romanticizing ways. In that vein, my wife (the model) and I tried to make a picture that felt a little hazy, not quite clear, like an old memory – the little things you rememberabout someone you once loved, or who once loved you.

The perfume had this smoky, grimy quality to it (in the best, most poetic sense of the word). A few whiffs left me feeling very salacious. I wanted to go out, drink Mescal, smoke cigars, and talk nonsense with women. I wanted to create something that commented on masculinity in a way that presented images of what’s underneath modern signifiers of masculinity, specifically those presented to us by advertising–– a “pre-game” if you will. I think there can be a lot of self-doubt that goes into the creation of a confident, seemingly infallible male ego. Particularly in the creation of a hipster.

The single word that came to mind on seeing this photograph was DESPAIR. I immediately recalled very dark times my mother went through that as a child I witnessed. After I was born she had a number of miscarriages, which seemed to trigger a deep-set depression that lasted for many years. To translate this image I used a coffee essence along with burnt incense resin and frankincense resin to create a very dark base, to which I added a strong shot of coffee, somechocolate and white rose. The rose reflects my belief that no matter how dark things get we still get up and face the day. These scents are just a wisp or undercurrent below the main fragrance of despair but I wanted to add vestiges of hope, because from my own experience, which includes significant personal medical trauma and near death, I have found that humans, unless consumed by madness, will try to find hope and a ray of light even in our darkest hours.

The message I got from the song was about ‘Making the best of what’s left’. I asked myself, ‘How can you make the best of what’s left from something that used to be magnificent?’ Antlers and skulls have always been an inspiration to me. They are sculptures themselves and also tell an animal’s story. They change with time even after the animal has passed. My goal was to preserve what was left.